Wii Fit wants to know if I trip a lot. Uh. Duh?

I got Wii Fit for my birthday yesterday. Coincidentally, Wii Fit cost only slightly more than the 3 month gym membership I signed up for around Thanksgiving and used exactly 3 times. I came away from that experience with a useless electronic key and residual guilt. At least with Wii Fit I’ll get to keep the nifty balance board.

Wii Fit works (uh, I’m basing this on one whole use, so the term “works” is relative here) because it judges you. I can go to the gym all I want—which admittedly is like, zero—but when no one else is there when I get off the elliptical machine after 15 minutes, I’m pretty good at reasoning away my slacker habits. Never mind that those 15 minutes were full of slllooowwiinnnngg down anywhere from 3-10 times to take big drinks of water or to stoop to pick up my magazine from the ground because it simply refuses to stay on the little rack in front of me. Not that it does any good because, really, who can read with eyes rattling around in your head and thoughts of merciful death at the forefront of your mind?

Enter the World of Wii and that skinny “trainer” bitch starts telling me that I “may not be strong enough for this exercise yet.” Oh yea, trainer lady? Suck it. Retry. My leg is a little shaky? You’re a little shaky. (Is it just me or is the male trainer a little, um, effeminate?) That trainer lady is sort of like my college roommate who suffered from exercise bulimia. She simply won’t stop working out and monitoring your progress. Although at least my former roommate did the judgment thing silently or at least behind my back while she ate her single meal of the day, Healthy Choice soup.  Plus, Wii Fit grades you, and as a former nerd-Valedictorian-perfectionist, I NEED to have the highest grade possible.  Admittedly, this drive slipped slightly in college but floats to the surface in more childish pursuits instead of academia these days.  Also, dude, it's a video game.  You call it improving my balance, I call it skiing.

I really have no point here except that apparently the most effective form of motivation is ridicule with a smile. I’m going to keep this in mind for my future children. “You don’t appear to be smart enough for the ABCs yet! Wipe that drool off your face, dunce! You are not good enough!” Also, I gave myself two whole weeks to lose two whole pounds. Keeping the underachievement standard going strong.

Comments

[Jaime]

I won a Wii from my company Christmas party in December, and the box is still sitting in my closet, collecting dust. I wasn't sure what to do with it, because I've never been into video games, and (thank god!) neither is my boyfriend. However I heard about the Wii Fit, and I think the reason I even decided to keep the damn Wii is because I keep telling myself I'll go out and buy the Wii Fit, so then not only will I use my awesome video game system, but I'll actually "workout". But, like you said, I 'm not sure if even the Wii Fit is the answer to my lack of motivation...I'm lucky if I make it to the gym once a week for Pilates. And Pilates is almost like going to the gym to take a nap - unless of course you're one of those people who actually enjoys working out and pushes your body to extremely uncomfortable positions - but I say no thanks to that.

[Olga]

Wii Fit scares me for this exact reason. I don't like anyone yelling at me, let alone my television.

[J.]

Oh! Oh! If you decide you really hate the Wii trainer chick and want to get rid of it, can I have it? Please?