This post is a Valentine's Day obligation. Just like the gift giving.
Friday, February 13, 2009 at 12:38PM My dad walked into the kitchen a little bit ago (why, no! I’m not working today, thanks for asking) and asked me what he should get Mom for Valentine’s Day. Uh. You could have gotten her the relaxation of knowing she didn’t have to play hostess to your out-of-state friend and his wife all weekend. Or at least an offer to do all the cooking. Or the ability to plan ahead. This is what I’m thinking in my head. Out loud, I reminded him that Valentine’s Day is, you know, tomorrow. And we live in a half horse town so the options are pretty limited unless you want to go down to the cigar/ammo store that also operates as a bar and pick her up some shotgun shells and a nice anise flavored cigar or maybe a 6 pack of Busch Light.
I’m not inventing the wheel here when I say that I’m not a Valentine’s Day sort of girl. This is not to be confused with being the sort of “woe is me, I have no man on February 14th therefore this holiday is the worst thing ever and I will talk about how I don’t care about it endlessly until all around me are forced to realize that I’m just pathetic” sort of girl. I lived with a few of those in college. Even self-pity isn’t attractive when dressed up in pink hearts and cupid cutouts. Valentine’s Day is nice. It comes with cute decorations and I really enjoy pink and red. And also good chocolate. Truffles, yum. But it’s sort of contrived. And by sort of I mean a lot. And by a lot I mean completely. But a holiday devoted to the recognition and celebration of the people we love and care about can’t be all bad.
I have pretty much always had zero expectations for Valentine’s Day, to the point of putting a moratorium on celebrations and gift giving. Give me a spontaneous evening or gesture that makes everything feel right and connected any day over a predictable crowded dinner at Olive Garden, surrounded by other young couples uncomfortably dressed up and hoping their efforts will get them laid tonight. And if you want to buy me flowers, wait until an unexpected time when the price hasn’t tripled in honor of “love.” Or better yet, put some thought into it and plan something more original. Show you care by doing something nice for my family or friends or hell, give the dog a bath for me. Valentine’s Day has become little more than a competition between females and a male obligation not to let them down. Trust me, the year I spend an hour making you a one of a kind card with a handwritten, personal message on it and you buy me a 1 pound bar of crappy chocolate because you want to eat it? We’ve got issues.
I love romance and love and all things heartfelt. I do not love $4 Hallmark cards, even if they play The Way You Look Tonight upon opening, or heart shaped boxes of chocolate from the local discount store that may or may not have been left over from last year’s Valentine’s Day. If you have a thoughtful significant other, in tune to your personality, Valentine’s Day will most likely be great. But if you have a thoughtful significant other in tune to your personality, most likely every day together is great. In my opinion, we need to stop with all of the commercially fabricated importance and pressure on February 14th and remember that, if we’re lucky, Valentine’s Day can be any day. Any day you take a moment to celebrate relationships, friendships, family. And any day you buy me truffles.
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Reader Comments (8)
LOVE this post. I do have a wonderful Valentine that I am very thankful for this year, but during this week leading up to it, I have spent more time asking my male coworkers what they were going to do for their wives, than pining for my own dream date. Most of them just laughed at me, some forgot all about Valentines day, and others said they were celebrating a three day weekend in honor of President's day....for Valentines day. Nice. I agree with you on the fact that gift giving and cheesy cards shouldn't be forced upon every couple on this one day. BUT, I'm the optimist and it is my hope that husbands and wives who have been together for many years and may have forgotten what romance feels like, have this one little day to not be so selfish, to show them "hey look, I still know what makes you smile", and most importantly, to give each other butterflies again.
this is hilarious! i love it. i can totally relate. i'm the only female at work who refers to Valentines Day as a Hallmark Holiday and all the women gasp at me like I'm insane and all the men stare like I've got a third eye. During that awkward time I like to remind them that we are in fact in the year 2009, not 1959. :)
I absolutely love this post, very well written.
"... a holiday devoted to the recognition and celebration of the people we love and care about can’t be all bad."
This is definitely the best way to look at Valentine's Day.
yeah, but what did your dad get your mom?
Haha, good question! They went to dinner Friday night. And actually they had a lovely weekend with their guests so it was just fine. They've never been Valentine's gift people either.
amen. amen. amen.
brilliantly written and beautifully said.
with love from pittsburgh...
I agree with the other posters... great topic... love your insights, and you make me laugh!
this is my first comment on your blog as i don't read very many but found you on doocetextads and always enjoy the time spent here...
I am in the greeting card business, but much prefer to send the unexpected card... those are the ones that make a difference to people I care about.
keep up the good work... from lockport, new york, small town on the historic erie canal
Well observed, most people do the Valentines thing out of duty, but it should be more spontaneous. Maybe if they gave us no warning when it was coming...like 'OK folks today is Valentines day, do your stuff'.